


See Myself Through Someone Else

by Frenchibi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9594170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchibi/pseuds/Frenchibi
Summary: Hanamaki hesitates, still staring at the linoleum floor of the locker room as if there’s some intricate design there that he feels the need to study, doing anything to avoid meeting their eyes.“I think… I think I… like someone.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderingskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/gifts).



> For CJ.
> 
> I started writing this AU months ago and the document said "for CJ" so I am assuming you encouraged me (as always). Thank you for being patient with my recent mood swings and random surges of inspiration :')
> 
> This might have been my first attempt at IwaOiMatsuHana, chronologically speaking? Hm. In any case it's been lying around on my computer unfinished for way too long and I've decided maybe posting it will motivate me to get back at it.  
> ( ~~Can you tell I'm desperate for inspiration? Usually I wouldn't want to publish stuff that's so far from completed, but here I go, for the third day in a row? Lovely~~ )
> 
> [Insp.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AILsB9G8qEw)

“So, uh. I think I have a problem.”

Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows at Hanamaki over his crossed arms, leaning back against the locker behind him. Oikawa is looking equally skeptical, even if he is more subtle about it.

“Do tell,” Iwaizumi says, half-expecting something completely stupid. This wouldn’t be the first time Hanamaki'd pranked him under the pretense of telling him something important. It’s pretty elaborate for a prank, though, and he’s not sure why Oikawa is involved as well. Either way, he doesn’t really have the patience for this.

What he doesn’t expect is Hanamaki looking down, kneading his fingers together in front of him, avoiding both his and Oikawa’s gazes.

“This isn’t a joke, guys. Not this time. I think I’m… really in trouble, and Mattsun’s gonna hate me for it. I don’t know what to do, and I need your help.”

Iwaizumi exchanges a glance with Oikawa, seeing the same worry behind his features that he feels as well.

“…what’s this about?” Oikawa asks carefully. He knows - they both know - that Hanamaki and Matsukawa have been dating for two years, and they don’t say it in public but they care about each other very much. If something’s got Hanamaki this worried, it’s something serious.

Hanamaki hesitates, still staring at the linoleum floor of the locker room as if there’s some intricate design there that he feels the need to study, doing anything to avoid meeting their eyes.

“I think… I think I… like someone.”

Iwaizumi blinks, because honestly, that’s the last thing he would have thought Hanamaki would say. He and Matsukawa are so obviously in love with each other-

“Are you sure?” Oikawa asks, evidently thinking along the same lines.

Hanamaki looks up, and the expression on his face is complicated, to say the least. He looks pained and relieved at the same time - but above all, he looks guilty.

“It’s… it’s more complicated than that. I still… I love Issei. You guys know I do. I just… kind of… like someone else as well? Actually… actually not just someone.”

Iwaizumi’s stomach twists uncomfortably.

“You… know it’s normal to crush on people, right?”

Oikawa’s question seems kind of dumb, but Hanamaki gives him a look that seems almost desperate. “You think I don’t know that? I’ve tried rationalizing this for _weeks_!”

If he wasn’t frowning before, Iwaizumi definitely is now.

“When you say _not just someone_ … what do you mean by that?”

“Well.” Hanamaki sighs, swallows, and tries again. “I mean… uhm. It’s… not just _someone_ , in the sense that… it’s someone Mattsun knows? And it’s also not… just some _one_.”

Oikawa blinks at him. “…several people?”

Iwaizumi is honestly surprised at how serious he’s being, and at how easily he’s accepting all this, while Iwaizumi himself is still shocked by _“I like someone besides Mattsun.”_

Hanamaki just nods, biting his lip.

Iwaizumi is starting to wonder how on earth he and Oikawa are supposed to help him with this.

There’s a stretch of silence, in which Hanamaki uncomfortably stares at the floor between Iwaizumi and Oikawa, looking small and lost and _hurt_ -

And then Oikawa has pulled him into a hug.

“Hey,” he says, and he’s using his reassuring voice, the one he knows works wonders on everyone’s nerves, the one he used back at Seijoh to calm down classmates before a test, or his teammates before a game, or Iwaizumi when they’re wrapped around each other in a bed that’s too small and Oikawa is saving him from himself. “Makki, it’s okay. Relax. We’re not judging you. We’re here to help.”

Hanamaki hiccups and awkwardly puts his arms around Oikawa’s waist, not quite hugging him back. Iwaizumi has never seen him this worked up. And he can’t seem to relax at all, pulling back quickly to stare at Oikawa with wide eyes. Then they flicker over to Iwaizumi, and immediately refocus on the floor.

“That’s- not all.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t like seeing him like this. It’s unsettling and painful, somehow, twisting his insides in all the wrong ways. He steps forward, reaching for Hanamaki’s arm.

“Makki, what-”

But Hanamaki jerks back from the touch like he’s been burnt, and Iwaizumi stops, startled.

“It’s- it’s more complicated than that!” he says, voice rising in frustration. “I don’t know what to _do_!”

“…why?” Iwaizumi asks - and even as he does, he feels like that's a stupid question. Of course he doesn't know what to do. All of this is a little too much to just accept and move along with, right now.

Hanamaki finally manages to look up into his face. He looks determined, resigned, and still very, very guilty. It’s an odd look, confusing, uneasy, off.

“Because the people I like- I’m…”

But he doesn’t like the words, apparently, and he’s backtracking, restarting again.

“Mattsun knows them. And they’re… they’re not exactly…”

He gestures helplessly with his hands, biting his lip again.

“God, why is this so hard? It’s-”

“Makki-”

“It’s _you_ ,” he blurts, cutting Oikawa off.

He and Iwaizumi both freeze.

“What?”

“I… like you,” Hanamaki says, less forceful now. The frustration is ebbing away fast, leaving nothing but nervous tension in its wake. “Uhm. Both of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://frenchibi.tumblr.com), as always.  
> I'm sorry for all the strange unfinished uploads lately, I'm in a weird place and posting fics is kind of the only thing that's keeping me sane so bear with me (even if it might take a while before I can update them all D:)


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